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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Regurgitated Fish

Likes: exiting larva, regurgitating fish, seventeenth number one
Dislikes: flies and death, holding straw

Having now passed the larval, regurgitated-fish-eating, and seventeenth number one stage, Mariah Carey remains on schedule to hit the crucial straw-holding stage in time for her now-lensing Warner Bros production, Holding the Straw.

PS The line about "When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff" is, sadly, an urban myth. Reporting to the UN yesterday, Mahomed ElBaradei found a clear lack of evidence for any flies and death-related Mariah Carey soundbites, and urged UN sanctions on all further Mariah Carey charity appearances rather than any hasty resort to direct military action, though if Iran or North Korea fancied testing their nuclear arsenals on her, he hinted to the assembly (hint hint), he could probably arrange to be busy (nudge nudge) looking in Saddam Hussein's mouth that day (wink wink).

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