That’s the kind of news headline I like to see. Oh my God, there’s an intimidatingly large black man in the gents, what will I do! I know, I’ll offer twenty bucks to ‘perform a sex act’ on him outside, and maybe he’ll let me live!
Let me try to come up with a headline as absurd as that.
‘Biologically Underinformed Junior Minister Noticed Hole Between Woman’s Legs, Decided Plugging it with Penis Only Way to Prevent Immediate Vital Organ Loss.’
Well come up with a better one then if you’re so fucking smart.