My favourite fellow Bray-man (yes I am from Bray) Dara O Briain has described the tedium of being at a dinner party full of doctors wittering on about angioplasty and hypoglycaemia or whatever it is doctors spend their days talking about, and deciding to floor them all with the question 'So what exactly are hiccups?'
With the election being upon us (or you lot anyway, who still live in that godforsaken country) I think politicians need to be flushed out of their comfort zone. They need to be backed into a corner with the kind of question that'll make them lose their cool and come out with what's really on their minds. If not about hiccups (they'll have had a chance to look that one up by now) then ferrets, for instance. Ferrets have become quite an issue in the Republican leadership contest in the States after Rudy Giuliani came out with the following comments on radio to someone who rang in to complain about his ban on keeping ferrets as pets in New York:
There is something deranged about you.... The excessive concern you have for ferrets is something you should examine with a therapist.... There is something really, really very sad about you.... This excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness.... You should go consult a psychologist.... Your compulsion about — your excessive concern with it is a sign that there is something wrong in your personality.... You have a sickness, and I know it's hard for you to accept that.... You need help.
Ferrets. The next time some Progressive Democrat hired thug lands on your doorstep, jab your finger in his chest and say the word. Ferrets. Where do you stand on ferrets?