Osama Bin Laden's insistence on using audio cassette recordings to issue his messages of global apocalypse has raised fears about security levels throughout Al-Qa'eda training camps in Waziristan. 'I can't get batteries for my iPod anywhere round here', one combatant said yesterday, 'so I've been listening to my Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan mixed tape on the old stereo in the canteen all week, and then I come in one day and find that comedy guy here has recorded some long rambling spiel about Kill all the Americans yadda yadda yadda over it. Get your own tapes, Osama. In future I'm breaking the little plastic bits off the top.'
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