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Saturday, April 17, 2010

Return of Keats and Chapman

‘Tell me’, Chapman asked Keats after their Thursday evening cribbage game and over a particularly fine amontillado, ‘would you describe yourself as a remorseless person?’
‘I would.’
‘A person who does not feel the need to apologise or make excuses for things you have done?’
‘Like that time you tickled Dryden in the eye?’
‘If by “tickled” you mean “punched” and by “that time” you mean “repeatedly” then yes.’
‘Indeed. And to what do you attribute this character trait?’
‘My collection of stuffed birds, a mere several hundred of which you see in this very room. My blue-footed boobies, hairy woodpeckers and yellow-bellied sapsuckers...’
‘I see.’
‘There is however one species that has served me better than all others in this regard.’
‘Go on.’
‘Its power derives not just from the species but the location where my specimens were found.’
‘That being?’
‘A riverbank in County Tipperary.’
‘Large white birds, of heron-like appearance.’
‘Too right.’
‘And they are?’
‘I have Nore egrets.’

1 comment:

Marie Marshall said...

I have to say that is bloody awful! Congratulations!