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Friday, November 25, 2005

I Will Marry a Prostitute to Save Money

Some fake Chinese film title translations:

"Pretty Woman" -- "I Will Marry a Prostitute to Save Money"
"Face/Off" -- "Who Is Face Belonging To? I Kill You Again, Harder!"
"Leaving Las Vegas" -- "I'm Drunk And You're a Prostitute"
"Interview With The Vampire" -- "So, You Are a Lawyer?"
"The Piano" -- "Ungrateful Adulteress! I Chop Off Your Finger!"
"My Best Friend's Wedding" -- "Help! My Pretend Boyfriend Is Gay!"
"George of the Jungle" -- "Big Dumb Monkey-Man Keeps Whacking Tree With Genitals"
"Scent of a Woman" -- "Great Buddha! I Can Smell You From Afar! Take a Bath, Will You?!"
"Love, Valour, Compassion!" -- "I Am That Guy From Seinfeld So It's Acceptable for Straight People to Enjoy This Gay Movie"
"Babe" -- "The Happy Dumpling-to-be Who Talks And Solves Agricultural Problems"
"Twister" -- "Run! Ruuunnnn! Cloudzillaaaaa!"
"Field of Dreams" -- "Imaginary Dead Baseball Players Live in My Cornfield"
"Barb Wire" -- "Delicate Orbs of Womanhood Bigger Than Your Head Can Hurt You"
"Batman & Robin" -- "Come to My Cave and Wear This Rubber Codpiece, Cute Boy"
"The Crying Game" -- "Oh No! My Girlfriend Has a Penis!"

This list has been around the block quite a bit now, but like I said at the top: it's a fake. None of these is a genuine Chinese movie title. And do you know why? Can you guess? Because, How could be they Chinese movie titles if they're ALL IN ENGLISH, you fuckwits. People in China speak Chinese. Thank you. Next question.

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