St Teresa

I went in search
of the Moors

to be martyred,
but death did not yield

so easily,
Father.

I sought you
by way

of understanding,
and found

only myself
left standing.

I sought you by way
of surrender,

except you would not
have me pander.

So I clove to you
until we were flesh

of one flesh
I could taste

and touch,
but we were too many,

and it was too much.
So I sought you

beyond your self
and mine,

where there was
nothing left

to find
in all my void

unanswered prayers,
all asking and

all giving past;
and took my trance-

like rest at last,
with rich, unceasing

empty tears.