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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Speed School

When I’m called to serious accident scenes, as I am every week, and I see a dent like this in the car roof I think, You may as well call the hospital now and say Stop, it’ s not worth it. She’s dead.

[Thankfully the woman in the safety film was in fact jumping over the car, not colliding with its bonnet. The dent in the roof was caused by the briefcase she was carrying.]

I feel like going down to the hospital and saying Stop treating this woman’s injuries. She’s not just seriously injured, she’s not just a vegetable, she’s dead.

[After dusting down her business suit, the woman was able to continue on her way to work, even managing to arrive on time.]

In fact I’m going to grab the plug for that life-support machine and yank it out of the wall right now.

[Joking about the incident with her colleagues over the photocopier, she is now looking forward to lunch with a man from the estate agent's across the road. As long as he doesn't get knocked down crossing it! Joke!]

She’s dead. She’s not coming back. Accept it.

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