Flarf

Comedy-sized jellyfish infest Japanese waters/insert strained parmesan sushi joke here/if I don't use this image now I never will/this is visual flarf





Today I read an 11,000 word article about 'flarf' on Jacket, at the end of which I still didn't know what flarf was.

A flarfist writes: 'there is no such thing as flarf'.

But if you (meaning me) really must know: a while back someone called Gary Sullivan wrote the first-ever example of the stuff, as a way of gulling the ever-insatiable editors at poems.com who, true to form, asked for more of the same. Here it is:

Yeah, mm-hmm, it's true
big birds make
big doo! I got fire inside
my "huppa"-chimp(TM)
gonna be agreessive, greasy aw yeah god
wanna DOOT! DOOT!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffft! hey!
oooh yeah baby gonna shake & bake then take
AWWWWWL your monee, honee (tee hee)
uggah duggah buggah biggah buggah muggah
hey! hey! you stoopid Mick! get
off the paddy field and git
me some chocolate Quik
put a Q-tip in it and stir it up sick
pocka-mocka-chocka-locka-DING DONG
fuck! shit! piss! oh it's so sad that
syndrome what's it called tourette's
make me HAI-EE! shout out loud
Cuz I love thee. Thank you God, for listening!

{end quotation}

That is flarf. Allow it into your life. Be at one with the flarf.